changed- the good in the world.

The question "how has being a mom changed you? has been one I've been thinking a lot about. And I wrote one post but haven't put it up yet because the more I think about it, it has changed me in many ways. The post I wrote is about worry, but I'll save that for another day.

One of the other ways that I have changed: kindness. I've never been a "mean" person, but I have my share of judgments. Or I did. Before I was a mom I looked down my nose at those bottle feeding (seriously- did these women never hear that breast is best???) or at the mom with kids freaking out in the store. Or the moms freaking out on their kids. I mean- they're just kids and even if they're not behaving well a 4 year old yelling isn't cause to lose your cool. Um, you're not potty trained?? and your almost 3??? and a whole host of things. You didn't have a "natural" birth? You had an unplanned child??

Then I because a mom. And everything changed. I changed. And Karma Came To Visit. SURPRISE CHRISSY! you're the mom bottle feeding because breastfeeding went to hell in a hand basket (what, by the way, does that even mean??) and my first wasn't fully potty trained until after 3. He was day trained earlier, but he was over 3 until we got the hang of nights. Oh- and yesterday? I nearly throttled my 4 year old at the park because he was poking some day care kid with a stick and then when I told him to go wait by the stroller so I could gather up his brothers he threw his shoes at me. And then slapped me in the face. And then ran away. So the daycare providers of 12 kids had a nice little show of me losing it on a 4 year old and that 4 year old freaking and flailing and the 2 year old shrieking because the 4 year old was shrieking and the baby was sobbing because he was past his nap.

And now, I just seriously don't care how other people raise their kids. I mean, I care that the kids are loved and cared for and cherished and played with and probably fed, but the rest? None of my bees wax. Because parenting is hard. And we do what we can. And sometimes we lose it. And sometimes we are superstars who handle temper tantrums with grace and perfection. If I see a mom who could use some help and I've got a spare hand, then sure I'll ask if I can jump in. And if somebody asks what I've done when, or is searching for opinions, then I'll share what has worked for my family. But that's all I know. What works for my family. I don't know what works for yours.

When I see other kids my heart just warms because I see good in the world. Even if that child is having "a day", they are the good in the world, just as my kids are the good in the world. They have wonderful stories to tell, wonderful dreams to live, wonderful things to share with us and teach us, and life just glistening in their sweet little eyes. And seeing the good in this world makes me a kinder, gentler, nicer person. And that's a good thing.